Thursday, March 6, 2014

The innocence of his smile..

A Pink printed cap adorning that little devil's head while he tried to dance around the pole in the metro. He was extremely sweet, yet naughty at the same time. The more he tried to sound innocent, his actions seemed equally notorious.
Almost fell down a few times as he kept cracking jokes with his mom. Talking about his play school, fighting over the spelling he would spell aloud to boast the knowledge of his recent lessons.
"Spell 7", his mother asked. 
"No, 7 bahut lamba hai" was the reply she got.
"Acha, 6 bata do" and all she got was a smirk.

It was only after I brought the count all the way down to 1, that he started ranting out.
2 was next and he automatically stated "T-W-O" and so began the spell bee until we reached 7 in the right order.
All was going smoothly until their station arrived. His mother had by now forgotten the count of stations as she was reveling in pride for her little devil. As the doors were about to close, she grabbed him by his sweater and dashed towards the gate, laughing all through, leaving me with this amazing laugh, a beautiful smile.
A reminder of how simple & innocent childhood is. And a need to jot it down..

Thursday, February 27, 2014

A Scary World out there..

Life goes on.. With its ups and downs.. We rise and we fall. Every topsy-turvy scares us a little.

Fear is something we live with, at every moment of life. From your first shrill cry to your very last breath, every step is associated with fear. Every change begins with the possibility and presence of fear.

Yes I am scared today. Scared of how it went. Scared of my current situation and myself. I am scared I might have lost the spark in myself. Scared that I might have given up. Scared that I may not get up this time.

I am also scared of tomorrow. Of how I would not be able to live up to expectations. Scared I might never achieve my goals. Scared that the world might not change. Or worse it will change and I may not be able to cope up.

Fear.. has become more of a companion now, than something to be scared of..

But this fear, also creates will.. This fear creates strength. To get up, to fight again, to not let go..

Fear is what brings out the worst in people.. But it also brings out the best. 

It brings out the real you..

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Love.. At least at the moment..

I may seem to be sort of obsessed with Farhan's poetic verses.. But here was another one and how this one changed my resistance to loving again..

एक बात है जो होठों तक आयी नहीं , बस आँखों से है झाँकती।
तुमसे कभी, मुझसे कभी, कुछ लव्ज़ है वो मांगती। 
        जिनको पहन के होठों तक आजाये वो,
        आवाज़ की बाहों में बाहें डाल के इठलाये वो।
लेकिन जो ये एक बात है , एहसास ही एहसास है।
खुश्बू सी है जैसे हवा में तैरती।
        खुश्बू  जो बेआवाज़ है 
जिसका पता तुमको भी है, जिसकी खबर मुझको भी है
छुपाये से भी छुपता नहीं, ये जाने कैसा राज़ है...

Love is a strange place to be in.. You want it and you hate it at the same time. It may take just 3 months to fall or several years before you even realize that you love that person. And sometimes its just too late a realization.

Love can make you do crazy things. It can make you take that trip that you could not afford. It can make you write poetry and make sense. It can make you cook breakfast and feel happy about it.
It can make you smile from the inside. Feel peaceful. Feel serene, yet be impatient or eager at the same time.

You understand that when you lay in their arms and think of nothing but them. You feel that when your eyes are drooping, yet you wanna stay up and watch them sleep. You feel that when their eyes are searching only for you. You feel that when you don't wanna let go. When your fingers are entwined and you feel how well they fit in.

You fall for their crooked smile or that twinkle in their eyes when they look at you. You fall for that hug or the way they send a kiss over a text message. You fall for the way they pull you or the way they seem confused at times..

And it doesn't matter if you are still carrying your past baggage, everyone has them. You leave them and move beyond to another chance, another hit at happiness. Because you never know whats happening tomorrow. You think you have eternity to find your perfect match, but people are not perfect and you never have the eternity.

You may be a career person, but you want to come home tired and sleep in their arms. You might hate getting up early until and unless its their kiss you wake up to. You can be opposites or similar.
When its love, nothing matters. Every reason falls apart..

So this one's for you my dear.. I don't know yet if I am emotionally involved or not. I don't know if I have fallen head over heels for you. I don't even know the technicality of "love" I have for you.
All I know is that love is not supposed to be that complicated. Its just supposed to be love. So I may not be your happily ever after. I may not be destined to grow old with you. I may not have all that and the other things ahead. Still I wanna try us. With disclaimers, with terms n conditions, even if you promise to run as soon as it burns. I wanna try us, because my heart never said no to it. And it might be a step to getting hurt, but that's a risk I am willing to take..

Because I know I'll have you. And I know that's enough, at least for the moment..